Author: Miss Injairu

This is my best kept muse. Have fun.

Hope everything else will align.

“People don’t leave jobs, they leave toxic work places”

My first reaction to the prompt has been a loud laugh, “like hey universe are you spying on me”.

Tomorrow will be my last day at work. I have been nagging here a lot about how toxic my work place is.

Of course quitting hasn’t been an easy decision to arrive at. It gets to a point where you choose your mental health and hope everything else will align.

I appreciate the growth. But noo, I wouldn’t be leaving if I loved my job.

Ps I loooove my career, it’s the workplace that has been the issue.

Cheers.

🌷Dear teenage me

What advice would you give to your teenage self?

You are blooming.

You are skinny and tall. A good number of people are vouching for you to get into modeling.

Your body is your greatest insecurity though. Not by choice, but from all the things you’ve been told by bullies.

Somehow, all those comments get to you and you lose your sense of worth. Wild insecurities develop.

“ So hey sugar bun, I know at such a tender age you have no tools at all to help you walk yourself into the journey of self-love. This is what we are going to do though. We are going to be entirely comfortable in our skin.

I am aware that you are so timid and you can’t stand up for yourself against those bullies, but here’s what we are going to do, we aren’t going to let their mean words get to us. I know that might be hard but we are going to try.

Something else we are going to do is, we aren’t going to try and be the person we aren’t just to fit in with the cool kids . We are going to be unapologetically ourselves because that will be a clear road map to genuine self love.

Confidence hun, don’t let anyone mess with your crown you are a whole fairy. I mean you are a dream.

I have a long list of things we are supposed to do, but let me just finish with this one. We are going to allow ourselves to be in our teen era and just thrive at it. We have no business being anxious about what the future holds for us at this age, c’mon hun we’ve only been here for two minutes. So we might as well just relax and allow ourselves to be.

I want you to remember that your body isn’t an aesthetic. Your face isn’t an aesthetic either. You are entirely perfect the way you are. Bloom so hard in your pink girl era.🌷💖

This doesn’t feel great.

I have been feeling stuck for quite a while now. I’m stuck in a loop.

It doesn’t feel great.

I’m trying to be careful not to make a wrong move. I know myself. I’m usually very impulsive.

I’m stuck at a very toxic work place. For quite a while now, I know the best decision will be quitting. I know I should quit.

I already have a list of things I would jump right into, after quitting. I have my plan. The elephant in the room is, how will I sort my bills out after I quit, before everything else aligns?

Now that’s the loop I’m caught in. It’s pretty much weird because, I do not know how I am surviving right now, because we are literally not being paid.

I can’t wait to meet myself on the other side of this. For now, I’m really just exhausted.

I know this is the kind of writing that should go somewhere in my personal journal, but you know what, I’m gonna leave it here anyway. Lol.

Cheers.

A random memory.

I grew up in the countryside. A very beautiful and intimate village in the Western region of Kenya.

I love that place with every fibre in me.

My sister loved hanging out with this neighbor. She was way older, this neighbor. They were the best of friends though.

She, my neighbor was widowed. So technically she understands grief really well.

This one evening she was seeing us off, I always would follow my sister around. She hated that🤣. I loved being in her space so.

The subject  of death came up. My question was simple “How, do people handle death” I preceded “I don’t know I’d ever handle this life past losing a loved one.” Their answer was simple,  and really cold. “You just accept it has happened, that’s everyone’s path”

I refused to let that sit in my head. At the back of my mind, I always silently wished that I’d be the first to die in my family. I couldn’t fathom losing any of my family. They are my heart those ones. ❤️

Two years down the line, my sister, the one I always would follow around died.

I was like wtf! How do I move past this.

Sadly life goes on.

This was just a random memory..❤️