In no particular hurry.

The more love I find within, the more love I seem to find around me.

I’m writing less.
I don’t like that I’m writing less nowadays. But I’m equally respecting that. I wouldn’t want to force it out.

My days have been calmer. I’m learning every day to be more present. You know, not rushing through things.
Not having my breakfast while my mind is already rushing through everything that awaits me that day, but actually eating my breakfast and enjoying it. Feeling the aftertaste of tea on my tongue before I take another sip.

I’ve tried to keep my streak on Duolingo. Well, apart from Sunday the 16th, when I went outside to watch the Arsenal match and ended up having a little too much fun.
I got the wrong time. The game was supposed to be at 5 p.m. I thought it was going to be at 7.
The perks of being an amateur fan. Haaaah!
Anyway, I ended up having fun.

I find tiny, cute things to be grateful for in my days and, honestly, they didn’t lie when they said it’s all in the mind. Because apparently, the more grateful I am, the more I bump into tiny, cute things to be grateful for.
The more love I feel within, the more love I seem to experience on the outside.
I’m enjoying the grind lately. It’s insane how much of my Google search history involves bonds, estate management, trust funds, mistakes that quietly hurt a business…
If someone were to bump into my history, they’d think, Damn! Val is really up in the game when it comes to financial literacy.
No, hun. I promise, no. 😂
Apparently, writing captions isn’t just as easy as it comes. You need to do your homework. Like, really.

I got an August read from Rouzie. The book is titled The Longest Holiday by Paige Toon.
Honestly, I only started it yesterday, and with how my schedule is, I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish it before the month ends.
I love the book cover. It has some touches of whimsy to it. Exactly how I love my things.
I keep telling people that I’m going to be the most childish 30 year old to ever grace this earth, and they think I’m kidding.
I’m not. 😂

Anyway, I’m grateful for life. I love experiencing life.
That’s how I told myself this morning…. I’m ready to experience today.
That’s how I want to approach life. As an experience to enjoy.
This was me literally flexing my writing muscles.

Live a little and remember to smile.

Cheers. 🌸

Cheers for real.

I’d love to dine with Hanya Yanagihara

Which author would you love to have dinner with?

The author of the book that tore me into pieces with every page, Hanya Yanagihara. A little life gets to be the most grim book I’ve ever read. Nothing seems to get better. You think the next page will bring a little ray of sunshine, then boom you’re balling your eyes out trying to picture whatever traumatic event you just read. It was unbelievably sad. I would love to sit down with Hanya Yanagihara, and understand her thought process… truly get a glimpse of how she managed to come up with a masterpiece that genuinely broke me down but also taught me a lot when it comes to holding out space for people who are battling with intense trauma, and also just understand how one views the world after they’ve gone through intense trauma.

Chapter 8 of 12 (August, please be gentle)

I genuinely thought I had found a cheat code around my emotions.

Then July arrived.

And if I’m being honest, I think July came to test that theory.

There isn’t a better way for me to explain it.

The nervousness and emotional weight I’ve carried over the past month have been unlike anything I’ve experienced in a long time. I honestly don’t know how I made it through some of those days.

There were mornings I woke up with intense anxiety… heart palpitations, a throbbing head, and tears before the day had even begun. There were nights I went to bed carrying those same emotions.

For a while, I thought healing my nervous system meant I would never feel anything that intensely again.

Maybe I misunderstood healing.

Because even in the middle of those difficult moments, there was a quiet part of me that knew they wouldn’t last forever.

I’m not completely out of the woods yet.

Some days still feel incredibly heavy.

And the interesting thing about having emotional meltdowns while living at home is that life doesn’t pause.. haaah! I mean you can’t bedrot and just wallow…. . I still have to move through the day looking okay. There have been moments when I’ve quietly disappeared into another room just to cry. Not a few tears… a complete breakdown.

But somehow, even then, I’ve trusted that this too will pass.

And I think that’s progress.

Not because the emotions disappeared.

But because I no longer believe they’ll stay forever.

One of the brightest parts of July was reuniting with some of my cousins.

It reminded me so much of childhood.

There was a time when getting together happened naturally, and we never imagined adulthood would scatter us in different directions.

For a little while, we found that version of ourselves again.

We laughed.

We caught up.

We were wonderfully goofy.

Without a doubt, that became my favorite memory of the month.

Then there was the unexpected encounter that has quietly stayed with me ever since.

The night after spending time with my cousins, that Sunday evening, I found myself wandering through the aisles of a mall. I was exhausted, carrying the weight of too little sleep, and certainly not looking particularly put together.

A gentleman, probably in his early fifties, approached me from a respectful distance and said hello.

My first thought was, “Not today, honestly.”

But politeness won.

He asked where I went to school.

I laughed.

Surely the trolley in front of me suggested I had graduated from that stage of life years ago.

So I smiled and replied,

“No… I’m actually an old woman. I finished school a long time ago.”

The look of surprise on his face was priceless.

Then he said something I’ve never forgotten.

“You just look like a good person.”

I thought I’d misheard him.

So he repeated it.

“You honestly look like a good person. And you look much younger than your age.”

I’ve heard compliments about my appearance before.

About my face.

My body.

The usual things.

But never that.

“You look like a good person.”

From a stranger. It caught me completely off guard.

I awkwardly thanked him, wondering if that was, in fact, a compliment.

Then he smiled and went on with his day.

My friend Rouzie had gone to fetch another trolley, and when she came back I thought about telling her what had happened.

I didn’t.

Some moments are so small that explaining them somehow makes them feel bigger than they were.

So I kept that one to myself.

Every now and then, I remember it.

And I smile.

The rest of July was beautifully ordinary.

I spent most of it at home, working.

Keeping up with my morning routine whenever I could, which now includes exercising my hips.

Although, if I’m honest, there were many mornings when my emotions felt too heavy for movement.

On those days, I simply didn’t work out.

Earlier this year I might have judged myself for that.

This time, I didn’t.

I attended a neighbour’s funeral one Saturday.

His passing shocked me.

He looked like one of those people you somehow assume will always be around, attending everyone else’s funerals before anyone attends his.

Life has a gentle way of reminding us that none of us knows how much time we have.

One of the most rewarding things I started this month was planting a flower garden at home.

That little project was inspired by my visit to Arboretum Kajok’oby in June.

There’s something deeply healing about putting tiny plants into the ground and trusting that they’ll bloom long before you ever see them become what they’re meant to be.

I’ve become slightly obsessed now.

I’ve already decided that every time I visit a beautiful resort or hotel, I’ll probably find myself having a friendly conversation with the groundskeeper or the security guard. Haaah! Not manipulation… just a friendly conversation. Because honestly…
Some of those gardens are breathtaking.
The flowers almost look like they belong to another part of the world.
I’d love to bring little pieces of that beauty home.
But I also want to be intentional about visiting farms every once in a while and getting myself some of those beauties.

On the first day of August, I jokingly told myself that August and I were going to be passionate.

I even gave the month a passionate kiss.

Yes. I promise

I actually did.

And no…

I’m not making that up.

The truth is, I miss calm.

Being sad for extended periods is exhausting.

But something else happened in July.

I learnt that I have to love even the days I don’t like.

There’s a line in Akon’s song that says,

“Thank you for sunshine. Thank you for rain. Thank you for joy. Thank you for pain.”

For the first time, I think I truly understand what that means.

Gratitude isn’t reserved only for the beautiful days.

Sometimes it’s choosing not to reject the difficult ones.

Another quiet lesson July gave me was this…..

I no longer want to analyse every single experience. I mean I’m Val. I’m heavy on coherence.

For years I’ve wanted every emotion to teach me something immediately.

Every difficult day had to become a lesson.

Every uncomfortable feeling had to make sense.

Lately, I’ve been learning something much gentler.

Sometimes, if I wake up sad…

I don’t have to investigate it.

I don’t have to solve it.

I simply have to let my body feel what it’s feeling.

Eventually…

It passes.

As August unfolds, I have only one request.

Please be gentle with my emotions.

In as much I have the bandwidth to carry difficult things.

But I’d love for this month to be filled with more calm than chaos.

Sure, .,..I’ve come to realise that calmness isn’t the absence of hard days…..It’s the ability to remain anchored even when they arrive. You know.

That’s the kind of strength I’m hoping to continue growing into.

So here’s to lighter days.

To unexpected little miracles.

To flowers that bloom.

To cousins who remind us of who we were.

To strangers whose kindness lingers.

To learning when to hold on…

And when to let go.

And to anyone who happens to stumble across these words…

May August be gentle on your heart.

May it surprise you in beautiful ways.

And may you find the courage to honour every emotion without allowing it to convince you that it will last forever.

Cheers. 🌸

“If you don’t fill the void you feel right now, even the version of you that has everything won’t be able to fill that void.” ~ Julian Roz

What’s a promise you made to yourself that you’ve actually kept?

For years I kept promising myself that I was gonna work on my nervous system. My emotions. I finally did. It’s a muscle. I have days when I fall back in old cycles. But I always pick myself back up eventually 🫂♥️

Chapter 7 of 12 (The beauty of an ordinary month)

Flowers Don’t Always Bloom Loudly

June was quieter than I expected……and somehow, I think I needed that.

I welcomed June while I was on transit. Then, for the better part of the month, I was home.
Most of my days looked almost the same.
I’d wake up, stretch, pray, get some work done, squeeze in a few somatic exercises here and there, then do it all over again the next day.

There wasn’t much reading this month either. In fact, I’ve slowly been making peace with the fact that my season of devouring self-help books is coming to an end. Once I’m done with the one I’m currently reading, I think that’ll be enough.

Lately, I’ve found myself wanting to simply live more than constantly trying to fix myself.


A lot of family time….and my little nephew completely stole the best parts of my days.
He’s exhausting in the sweetest way imaginable.

Somewhere in between all of that, I quietly ended a number of friendships. Not because there was drama. Just that some differences are quite intense to navigate….and so those friendships had simply run their course.
Surprisingly, it didn’t feel heavy.
It felt like an exhale I didn’t know I had been holding. I have beautiful memories of those and I’m gonna remember them with a smile.

Towards the end of the month, a few beautiful souls and I found ourselves at Arboretum Kajok’oby, also known as the Tree Therapy…a little sanctuary tucked away in Kisumu.
What was once a home just like other homes…has been lovingly transformed into a space where nature quietly reminds you to slow down. And now it’s simply a safe haven.
Without a doubt, it became my favorite memory of June.

There was something about that place that settled me.
I can’t quite explain it, but I left feeling lighter than I arrived.
It’s one of those places that stays with you long after you’ve left, and I already know I’ll find my way back there.

While we were there, someone asked me a question I’ve never really liked.
“So… what do you do?”
I froze.
I stuttered.
Not because I didn’t know what I do, but because I had never quite found words that felt like home.
Later that day, I sat with myself.
As much as I still think it’s one of the most superficial questions we ask each other, I also accepted that it’s a question I’ll probably hear for the rest of my life.

Maybe people ask it because they’re trying to understand where someone fits in the world.
Personally, though, I’d be far more inclined to ask,
“What part of your work do you enjoy the most?” .…Or, “How much do you enjoy what you do?”
Those answers tell me far more about a person than a job title ever could.
But perhaps June wasn’t about changing the question.
Perhaps it was about finally making peace with it.
About answering it without feeling like I had to justify myself.

Sometimes growth arrives quietly, disguised as a conversation you’ve been avoiding.

I know we’re already well into July, but I’m still speaking good intentions over what remains of it.
May alignment continue finding me.
May I continue participating fully in my own life.
And may I continue being surprised in all the beautiful ways.

This feels like one of my quietest monthly reflections.
Maybe because I’ve been in a bit of a slump.
But not the kind that empties you. The kind that quietly rearranges you while life continues unfolding around you…..and perhaps that’s a beautiful thing too.

To the sweet stranger who happens to stumble upon these words…
Please be intentional about truly living.
Don’t wait for extraordinary moments to convince yourself that life is happening.

The ordinary days count too.

I’m wishing you beautiful moments through the rest of the year. May it unfold gently….may it unfold bravely…..and may it unfold in ways that feel true to the desires of your heart.

Cheers. 🌸

A few gems from Kajok’oby. Picture credits (Suvenia Safaris)