In a few months, I’ll be celebrating my 27th birthday. It’s quite an astonishing realization when I stop to think about it. The phrase “time flies” is often tossed around casually, but I’m now experiencing its truth in the most profound sense.
Reflecting on my past years stirs up a whirlwind of emotions. Do I find joy in the passing years, the maturing and growth that come with age? Absolutely, I do. It’s an evolution, much like a fine wine maturing in a cellar.
However, one pang of regret tugs at my heartstrings – the feeling that I’ve somehow let my younger self down. The feeling that she’s missed out on truly living, that too many years have been consumed by worry and overthinking. I can’t rewind the clock, but I can reach out to that 17-year-old version of myself, in the hope of offering some wisdom and comfort.
Dear younger me,
Fresh out of high school, you have your entire life laid out in front of you. The boarding school years, which felt more like punishment than opportunity, are behind you. You chose that path, yet you can’t help but regret it.
You’re brimming with potential, with the world at your fingertips. But do you seize the opportunity? You’re an introvert by nature, quiet and reserved. Others label you as ‘timid’, and over time you start to believe that’s all you are.
You yearn to express yourself, to articulate the kaleidoscope of thoughts spinning inside your head, but words elude you. Your mind, though a beautiful maelstrom of creativity and emotion, feels like a heavy burden. Your silent pleas for help go unnoticed, drowned out by the clamor of the adult world.
You’re only 17, but you’ve already faced more than your fair share of hardships. You’ve become adept at concealing your pain, not wanting to burden those around you. On the few occasions you’ve tried to voice your feelings, your cries fell on deaf ears, leading you back to your world of silence.
You’re different from the typical rebellious teenager; you adhere to rules, finding solace in the predictable world of soap operas. They become your roadmap to romance, shaping your understanding of love and relationships.
Over time, you lose sight of your self-worth. You wish you could mirror your siblings or friends, and in doing so, you lose your unique identity. Unbeknownst to you, such thoughts slowly chip away at your confidence, leading you down a path of people-pleasing and self-doubt.
My dear younger self, I, your future 27-year-old self, am reaching out to ask for your forgiveness. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made when you were still learning about the world and yourself. I’m here to reassure you that you are now safe, and that your worth was never up for debate. You matter.
I regret the times you spent wallowing in sadness, wishing you could be someone else. Let me remind you: you are a unique masterpiece. Your introverted nature is not a flaw, but a strength. Your silence can be powerful, but remember that you now have a voice.
I apologize for the hardships you had to face at such a young age, but let me reassure you once again: you are safe. It’s time to shed that victim mentality and embrace the resilience that lies within you.
Now, I invite you to join me on this journey of self-discovery and growth. Let’s live our life to the fullest, with the wisdom of our past guiding us to a brighterfuture.
Sending you love and light,
Your Future Self.
Shadow to my light. 
Deep, you are a good writer…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Humbled😌
LikeLike