Restructuring

I’ve been totally out of my flow in the last one week and a few days.

Presence. This is my new way of navigating friendships. I know my social life has been in the trenches for so long. I have awesome souls in my life, but besides interacting virtually, I barely ever make time for them.

Because of that, I have been trying to restructure.

My friend lost a dear person to her.  On a phone call with her, she broke down and my heart crushed. My friend is the strongest soul I know. It crushed me hearing her break down on the other end like that.

Unlike me, she’s not mushy. We call her “gaidi” to mean rogue but in a good way.  She’s amazing.

Apart from my family, I have never been around such a big number of people for more than a week.  Most people would argue and say, I wouldn’t know how to navigate such situations, haaah! The joke is on them.

In as much as the circumstances that brought us together were sad, but I’ve loved, especially how beautifully human beings can coexist together.

I have never at any point enjoyed being the center of attention, story for another day. 
Something about my walking style, I make calculated, graceful steps that seem to bother people more than they should. I have learnt to be entirely comfortable anytime somebody cracks a joke about my walking style.

I went on a break from my job hunt, because clearly a lot has been going on, still is.

In as much as it has been entirely rewarding just being there for my friend, I won’t lie I’ve had moments where I’ve felt guilty about not being “productive”. I always have that feeling any other time I’m not doing something “constructive”.

Social interactions aren’t a waste of time. They can be rewarding. Slowly, I am teaching my brain how to register that simple fact.

Major changes are happening and I hope it’s all for a good cause.

Cheers🫶