She knew it was going to haunt her bad. She just knew it. What she wasn’t going to do though, was try to anticipate what her life was going to be like, in a month or two. Clearly, that is what she had been doing for the past three years, living in anticipation.
She made the decision under peculiar circumstances. If you’d asked her four weeks ago if she had it in her to make the decision she’d made now. She would have laughed in your face bad.
She knew that was her once-in-a-lifetime love, and so she had vowed to fight to the end to ensure that she had it.
He knew she loved him more than she loved life. Effortlessly she had proven that to him.
Did he ever love her though? Maybe he loved the idea of being loved fiercely. She will never know.
Maybe the universe conspired to ensure they never would get together. Looking at it differently there was always a force that seemed to be keeping them apart. She had communicated that at one point, but at that time, she knew they were going to conquer it all.
She has cried both sad and happy tears.
She’s grateful that she has been able to genuinely and sincerely love another soul so fiercely, not everyone gets a chance to experience that.
Most of their memories are virtual, and they managed to exchange very beautiful messages. She’s gonna hold on to that.
She’ll still have him in her prayers, sending out good thoughts. Because genuinely he is a good person.
How would it have been, if she felt half the love she had for him, coming from him?
She usually is one to communicate, but this time round she chose silence. It was less burdening that way.
Probably that’s how her once-in-a-lifetime love was bound to end. Probably she gave up too early, probably he never loved her, probably removing herself from his life is the exhale he needed…a lot of questions but she just would never know. And that’s the thing about life, you just never know.
She’ll mostly be grieving what it could have been, the mental picture she had created like how Sundays were supposed to be for baking and slowing down. And how her house was supposed to be their escape from tech and external noises.
In the meantime, she’s exhausted she no longer has it in her to fight anymore. She’s done fighting I guess.
Shadow to my light. 
Wonderful
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Thank you Suleiman 🙏
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