In her early life, there was a major reason behind her undying passion to study psychology. Hang on that thought for a minute, I’ll chew the bone with you later
The month is March, she pretty much cannot recall the specific date but the year is 1999 of course she cannot forget that. Technology was somewhat setting in and some people were getting to understand that the world was slowly turning into a small global village. Okay what should follow after that particular date she can’t quite recall is a series of over indulgence, anxiety and a bitterness she never thought she would ever have to deal with in her once calm life. A simple girl, from a very simple village. She was so used to everything around her being serene.
She fell in love. That would influence every decision she now made in her life. She was head over heels. And I do not know how well I can describe the intensity. Or probably it was a blessing in disguise. She noticed the butterflies. The intensity. All those emotions were beautiful and pure. That was a secret she was going to carry to her grave though. She had seen enough to never want to experience the animosity that came with settling down. She had seen and experienced it all. She can still hear the noises. The irony is how she’d yearned to at one point fall in love regardless.
Seated legs crossed on her arm chair sipping coffee gazing right outside her window into nothingness trying to recall all those childhood memories she wished to completely erase from her memory. Her mind drifted back to that date in March when Seth opened up to her. It was a beautiful afternoon. She decided to head to town and chill at her favourite spot, she would usually choose to go there when she wanted to clear her mind and feel in touch with nature. Somehow Seth figured she would be there. He wanted to drop the bomb. He was no longer seeing the need to continue the relationship. She can’t quite recall whatever he said after that but of course it had to be the typical “you aren’t the problem, I am the problem…you deserve better” and all that bullshit., the world around her went still. She went numb. She can’t recall how she made it home…but she recalls heading over to a local pub. That marked the beginning of her now messy life.
As the years passed, she learned to navigate the chaos that followed.
The love she once believed was pure and unshakable had left her hollow and uncertain, yet it had also sparked something deep within her.
Her messy life became a constant balancing act between her emotions and her desire for stability. But that heartbreak had also led her down a path of selfdiscovery and healing.
She began to understand why she was drawn to psychology, to untangle the human mind, to find solace in understanding what felt incomprehensible at the time.
And in the midst of it all, she realized that the wounds, the anxiety, and even the bitterness had brought her closer to her purpose. The scars had shaped her passion, her strength, and her resolve. Now, she stands at the crossroads of her past and future, ready to face whatever lies ahead.
^^(an excerpt from a book I’ll never really get to write 😅)^^ cheers.
Shadow to my light. 