For my sister who mothered me

Today I’m hanging out with my friends. Which, in our case, means really listening to music  dissecting lyrics, criticizing, laughing.

Lately, they’ve taken a wild liking to dissing this “pawa” song. So today I paid attention. Mbosso actually says
“Nilifeli mtihani sekondari kuedaga shule,
lakini kufeli penzi lako sina hilo chaguo.”
Now I’m like… guys, I’m on my way to Tanzania. 😂

I love these souls.
Their dumb dad jokes.
Their brains working overtime.

But beyond my friends, I have siblings. Incredible souls.
We’re a mix of everything but one thing binds us, hair.
We all gave up and went the dreadlocks way. Even my late sister Chela had dreads.
(Okay, except Gloria who plaits. And I know she secretly hates dreads.)
No one convinced the other. We just did it.
Well… let me be fair, Doreen kind of pushed me,
so let me give her her flowers. 🌼

Doreen uses me. Yesterday she said,
“I’m in your life buana, and I’ll call you as many times as I want.
In fact, I’ll hang up and call you again na hautanipeleka mahali.”
I laughed.
That’s her way of saying, “I love you so much, Val, and I can’t live without you.”
She has a way with emotions.
Avoidant in love, like everyone I’m strangely drawn to.
And it blows her mind how mushy and romantic I am. She told me once “Na hiyo roho yako, African men hautoboi”

She’s been present in almost every stage of my life.
When I was breaking up with my first boyfriend,
she literally dragged me to his place and said,
“Val, for today I have allowed you. Stay here as long as you want.
But by the time you come back, you two better have made up.”
I was astonished. So dramatic and so motherly.

My nickname for her is Yellow.
She’s my love.

And Yellow, if you ever read this,
I hope you know how amazing you are.

Hun, you’re doing great.
You’ve done great with Brad and Joy.
You’re still doing genuinely great by them.

But I want you to really live.
Not just show up for everyone else.
Not just hold the world together.

Live for yourself, too.
Split some of that energy, save some for you.

Because you’ve done beautifully.
And no outside noise should ever make you question that.
You’re solid. You’re enough.

Yes, we can only do so much.
We’ll never control every outcome.
But the fact that you go all in?
That should be enough to grant you peace.

You are awesome. You are amazing.
And I love you.
I love you so much.

Okay, back to my friends.
One just asked me, “If you were God, what would you change?”
Without thinking, I said “I’d remove death.”
It sounded dumb even as I said it 🤣 but really  imagine.

I threw the question back.
He said,“I’d remove boundaries.”

I asked, “Like, country borders?”
He said, “No, life boundaries, laws, rules, what society calls appropriate or inappropriate.”

Me, “So technically… no constitutions?”
Him,“Exactly.”

I said, “But then people would just kill for nothing.”
And he looked me in the eye and said,
“I don’t see anything wrong with murder.
If anything, I understand serial killers.”

I stared at him, wondering if I’m safe. 😅

Anyway,Doreen.
Yellow.
My love.
I adore you.

Author: Miss Injairu

This is my best kept muse. Have fun. View all posts by Miss Injairu