Month: February 2025

Somewhere around mid January I lost my gig.
It wasn’t paying much, literally it wasn’t paying at all but I loved it regardless. I loved working for that gracious lady. She fired me in the most gracious way.  I read the message smiling.
For someone who’s always loud about “communication”. Ask me why I lost the gig? Communication. I was slacking at my deliverables because I’d been ill for a while. I didn’t communicate.

When everybody was hyped up about the year, you know claiming the year and coming up with all those cute visual boards, I was in my cocoon eating a bunch of Ls.

I once talked about energies and how I can feel them, around late December I kinda knew I was going to lose my job. And I would even vocalize it, careful what you say out loud the universe has such big ears, it listens and it hears. (I actually wanted to add, unlike your boyfriend) My intrusive thoughts have been winning lately.

I can be superstitious every so often, I was recently going through my journal and I also noticed somewhere around December I had this dream that felt rather weird, and I documented it…

Okay, I couldn’t expose the rest of the write up, because it was rather personal..(funny right? Because most of the things I write on here should be tucked away in my diary)

Anyways, I have restarted this year so many times..the last time I did a friend of mine said “Val, it’s enough with the restarting” I listened.

The last few weeks I have been juggling my way around..sending applications. Between my dream of being a freelancer and now having to find an actual job..my head is spinning. So in between my job hunt, I am caught between growing my portfolio as a freelancer and sending in those actual emails for actual jobs. Lol.  Fair to say, I am so busy now than I was when I was working my 9-5.

Okay all this blubbering is to say, I hate that I’m not writing much these days. I felt a tinge of guilt yesterday and I tried tapping into my creative tabs and I couldn’t open any at all.

I’m going through the worst writer’s block and that’s why I am here writing this.  How insane is this?

I was almost tempted to edit this with chatgpt, then I remembered how I once was loud on here about being authentic with my writing. I weirdly feel so guilty any other time I have to edit my write ups with AI.  So before you proceed, forgive the grammatical errors. Thank you.

I can be such a “no pressure” person when I am not acting on my emotions. I have set a bunch of daily reminders about the same.

I am working on building my presence on my LinkedIn page, now this is the work because Lord have mercy! On there, it’s not about being delusional and emotional. It’s about real stuff. So help me God because I just do not know how to write without involving my emotions.

I enjoy this space most because I can butcher and break all the grammar rules and no one would give a flying F.

Enough of the blubbering Val.

Cheers.

Self limiting beliefs can be detrimental. We don’t say this enough times. 

Can we talk about the opportunities we’ve lost simply because we thought they were entirely out of our league. 

Not even that, can we talk about how much time we’ve lost just trying to catch our own tail simply because we just didn’t believe in ourselves enough. 

It definitely starts from the inside, how do you speak to yourself? This should definitely be our first step into greatness. 

Cheers.

Moving on has never been easy, especially when everything else was coming from a point of authenticity.

She is doing her best to move on with grace.

She just wouldn’t understand why these dreams wouldn’t extend any form of grace.

Last night she had this dream where this guy showed up wearing his actual heart on his waist. The guy was in tears. As if seeing a heart being worn on the waist wasn’t tormenting enough. Were the tears necessary really?

Now she’s conceptualizing all those dreams she had in just one night, it wasn’t just that one by the way. And she’s just here like wtf!