Month: August 2024

Slow living, but in my version.

I am in a phase where I am so in love with life.


About a year ago, I was so insecure about my finances. There’s someone who would constantly ask me “why have you placed so much of your self worth on money?” Having that mindset really did rounds on my self worth.


I know, we live in a world where money unlocks almost everything if not everything. Don’t get me wrong I want to get to a place in my life where I will be secure financially. But I am also learning not to attach my worth to that.


So in between my financial frustrations, I quit. Weird right? No. The job I was working was going to kill me, literally. I woke up one day and I couldn’t stop thinking about quitting. That idea played in my head for almost 3 months. Then finally on a very humid day, I wrote a three line resignation email and I was out.


I know it’s pretty much hectic to land a job now. I have sent a couple of applications. Then I took a break.


For a minute it almost felt like, I was moving through life without any purpose. So I decided to pay more attention to my days.


Yesterday, I was listening to a very gracious sweet soul from YouTube. The title to her video read “Almost 30 with no goals in life”. Well that piqued my interest because I could relate. I listened to her and I was blown away. Because at one point, I was so caught up in planning. A loop of over planning and never just actualizing. I took a pause on that.


Lately I noticed, I live my days as they come. I simply decided as long as I do one wholesome thing in a day that counts for something.


Today I woke up and did my normal morning rituals which include; praying, meditating, journaling, cleaning up then figuring out what next.  I decided to clean the yard. It was super therapeutic. After breakfast, I’ve decided I’m going to crotchet.


Thinking about how life has been playing out lately just makes me break into a huge grin.


I know this might not work out for most people but it is serving me now. I am looking at myself from a whole different lens. I love myself more. I see my worth. I am peaceful.
I am basically just pursuing myself currently.
That’s all that matters in this moment and time.
This is my version of slow living.

Cheers.

Eventually I had to,,,

“eventually you just must learn how to show up for yourself appropriately.”

Credits – Pinterest

For context, I love my country so much. I am really proud to be a Kenyan.


A little over a month ago, something I would call a revolution erupted. My people had been quiet for so long.

The government would wake up and come up with insane and punitive policies and most of the time, the impunity would be received with silence.


The straw that broke the camel’s back was the latest finance Bill. It started like a mere hashtag on the socials, it read “rejectfinancebill“.  Personally, I tend to be really ignorant when it comes to such matters.

In my head I figured it was just going to run over for maybe a week and it will all be forgotten. Boy was I wrong! The opposite happened. It just kept gaining an insane momentum.


In between all that, it came to me that acting all ignorant and unbothered about such things, I was being unfair to my nation and my fellow Kenyans who were out there pushing and fighting for our country. I decided to enlighten myself a little.


It is sad that a lot of innocent lives were lost in the process. They will forever be our heroes. But it was such an awakening. There’s a powerful force that emerges when people decide to get over their ignorance.


Eventually the government had to pay attention to its citizens. People were not relenting. It was enough of being taken for granted.


It was very hilarious to watch the government fumbling and going on and on about someone funding the protests. Literally our own government was astounded by how enlightened everyone had become.


For a long while it almost felt like, us, the people of Kenya had been moving on autopilot. Blind to all the unfairness we were being subjected to. We had to wake up eventually.


That has literally been my case for a long while. Moving on autopilot. It got to a point where I got really tired and I literally had to step up for myself. I realized, no one else was going to fight for me. I literally had to get over moving through life casually like it meant nothing. So I summoned myself and I had to protest against ruining my own beautiful life.


Cheers.

Unveiling parts of me

I love shows that feel like coming back home to myself after a crazy day.


I have watched; sweet magnolias, Gilmore girls, virgin River, A million little things, Cedar cove, and now I am watching Chesapeake shores. 

A few months back I always got so humiliated whenever anybody asked about the kind of movies/series that I enjoy watching.


I’ve always been super scared to be thought of as a daft. That reason was sort of making me hide parts of myself.

I always thought the kind of things I enjoy watching are silly and senseless.


I love smart people. I genuinely admire smart people. I have always carried that fear of not being smart enough. That projected anytime a person asked the question “so what do you watch?” I loathed that question. It got worse when an individual would go ahead and criticize my answer, even if it was out of sheer fun. To me, it always sounded like an insult of some sort to my brain.


I got my awakening yesterday.

Cheers