Bleached or not, self-love isn’t skin-deep

“Every shade tells a story. Let’s stop shaming confidence and start celebrating it.”

Maybe it’s just my TikTok FYP, but lately, there’s been this unspoken pissing contest between girls who are bleaching their skin and those who are entirely comfortable in their natural tones.

It’s as if colorism just unlocked a new level.
Scrolling through the comment sections of those videos felt… weird. Almost like women who are secure and content in their skin are now being shamed for it. How did we even get here?

Colorism has always been around, yes. And so have the impossible beauty standards pushed on women globally.
But honestly? Whatever someone chooses to do with their body is ultimately their decision. I truly believe any woman who chooses to bleach her skin knows what she’s signing up for, she’s likely informed about the risks and long-term effects.

Still, I can’t help but think that a woman who is fully at peace in her natural skin has probably done some deep inner work.
Because self-love doesn’t come served on a silver platter. It’s earned.

Over time, I’ve learned to respect people’s choices, even if they differ from mine.

But if the decision to bleach comes from a wounded place, from self-hate or deep-seated insecurity… no amount of lightening cream will ever give you self-love. That journey starts within. You can’t bleach your way out of self-loathing. At least this is what I believe.

That said, I celebrate melanin. If I were a guy, I know exactly the kind of woman I’d be drawn to.
And even now, I know the kind of woman I admire. But that has never given me a reason to hate on the ones who don’t fit my personal preferences. I keep that to myself.

While we’re here, can we just let girls who are confident in their skin be?

This new wave of meanness, disguised as “colorism discourse”, is harming the very girls who are showing up authentically.

Colorism isn’t going anywhere, sadly. I’ve even had conversations with some of the smartest guys I know, and it was honestly heartbreaking hearing the subtle jabs and shady remarks they made.
Like, come on! We are  African. If you have a preference, fine. But don’t shame the other one.

And to my fellow women, please don’t let these beauty companies fool you. They’ve figured out how to profit from our insecurities.
So love yourself. For real. Eat well, hydrate, know your body. Monitor your hormones. Radiate love, from the inside out.

Start there maybe.

And please, maybe I’ll emphasize this a little harder…love yourself enough not to let society pressure you into doing something harmful to your skin just to meet a beauty standard rooted in centuries of shame and projection.

You’re more than that.
Love you.

Cheers.